Variations of the phrase “Get over it” are things we all hear at some points in our life.

“You need to move on.”

“You need to let it go.”

“Why are you living in the past?”

“Can’t you just put it out of your mind?”

The implication is that we should not dwell on something and we should move on as quickly as we can to become emotionally healthy. We are sent the message repeatedly to toughen up, suck it up and keep pedaling at all costs.

This is complete and utter nonsense and if anyone tells you that, they have never been through a really rough patch in their life. Or they might have made it through one, but did not deal with the emotional fallout — yet. There is always a reckoning for injuries to the soul.

It took me 51 years to figure out that I cannot do that. And I’m guessing I am not the only one.

I went through a terrible divorce eight years ago. It affected my life in ways I could not predict or expect. Through the three-year-long process, I was focused on just making it through, thinking that once it was over, I could start to heal.

To me, healing was being 100% successful in my career and role as a mother, 100% not sad, 100% fit like I was 23 even though I’ve had three pregnancies with one C-section that, oh yeah, cut my stomach muscles, and being 100% busy in my off-time.

Those are some pretty high standards but I am a fairly motivated person. I attacked them with a vengeance.

I started running and lost 20 pounds. I ran races. I obsessed over my work and took every mistake to heart even though I had not been in the work force for 17 years. I planned trips with friends. I met new, younger friends and went out all the time — weeknights, weekends, I was all over it because I WAS NOT GOING TO BE DEFEATED BY DIVORCE. I wasn’t going to give up. I expected my children to understand my sacrifices as a single mother and became frustrated when they acted like normal teenagers. I read the Bible, prayed and thought incessantly of ways to improve myself.

In short, I judged myself for everything and found myself coming up short, time and again.

And in the process, I’m pretty sure I had some kind of breakdown but since I don’t have a spouse and my…